During the Relationship

I was in a serious monogamous relationship in the past three years. Not a day will pass by without hearing his voice during its whole duration. We met through a dating app called Badoo in the 1st week of October back in 2014. I flirted with him and I asked whether he wants to be my boyfriend because I was curious and clueless how being in a relationship felt like. The 16-year-old me was so impulsive but then he agreed with me. We moved talking in Facebook Messenger which just had a regular call at that time so when we wanted to see each others faces, we would be on Skype. We endured the 15-hour difference between our time zones. That did not stop us to not talk every single day for at least a couple of hours. At that early stage of our relationship, we started planning our future with each other in it like any other couple out there would. I was so happy each time I heard his voice on the other end. I started to know more about him and the same thing for him. It took probably a month when I decided to tell my family about it. They hesitated at first but their trust in me prevailed. Days turned into months then into two years together, the routine remained the same, we didn't had a day with out listening to each other's day and other stuff. My love for him blossomed and he probably also did love me.

Long conversation did not tire me. Sleep deprived yet in love.

He then decided to actually fly here to the Philippines and finally meet each other in person. I was feeling so anxious because I will be able to see him living and breathing in front of my face. We shared a lot of good memories for the ten days that he have stayed here, even his birthday. I just felt so lucky at that moment, who would make that much effort and sacrifice saving that much cash just to see a person you just know over the phone. Doesn't even sound like a good idea. He never let me touch his phone though but I let that slipped, I didn't think of it that much as long as he is next to me. He went back home. There was a pool of tears when I was bidding him good bye at the airport. I thought that would be the most painful thing i'll ever experience but i'm wrong. There's betrayal. He cheated on me with multiple women on Facebook. It was heart breaking obviously yet I still gave him another shot. I was thinking maybe he just did and honest mistake. The daily routine was still there but i could tell that it affected me too much. I let myself revolve on him and knowing that it wasn't the same for him was painful. The feeling of it was like choking in my own breath. So months passed then we reached our 3rd year anniversary. It was just like a regular day. Then followed by another couple of months then he asked for a cool off (space).  I asked why, he said he wanted to be in a normal relationship which i can't provide and neither can he. He was already dating one of his classmates for two weeks before saying anything to me. He still love me though according to him but if you love a person do you just leave them because of their short-comings? 

During his stay. March 2017

You know what was the other couple of reasons, it was because i didn't believe in his ideologies and I gained weight. It was probably my fault for not being good enough for him. Now I will just have to start over with someone else, but this time I probably would love myself more than him.